Team Communication: What Works and What Doesn’t

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The Myth:

“We Talk All the Time, So We Must Be Communicating”

Nope.

Teams often confuse talking with understanding.
Strong communication isn’t about saying more, it’s about making every word count.

Especially when emotions run high and silence feels safer than truth.

What Breaks Communication

• People don’t feel safe to speak up
• Stakeholders talk at the team, not with them
• Feedback is vague or late
• Emotional cues get ignored

These aren't soft issues, they become blockers, bugs, and burnout.

1. Use Emotional Check-Ins

Start your 1:1s with a quick pulse check:
“What’s your energy level today, 1–10?” Or

If teammates seem unsettled after a meeting
Ask: “What’s something unspoken we should bring into the room

It opens space.
It signals care.
And it says: “You are heard, you are seen and you matter.”

2. Use “STATE” in Difficult Conversations

When tension rises, the STATE model helps you stay clear and kind:

• S – Share your facts: Start with what you have observed, not what you assume: Start with objective, observable data (not opinions).

• T – Tell your story: Explain how you are interpreting the situation. Demonstrate the meaning you are making from the facts.

• A – Ask for their path: Invite the other person’s perspective with curiosity. Allow the other person to share their perspective.

• T – Talk tentatively: Speak with humility, not certainty. Present your view as a possibility, not a truth.

• E – Encourage testing: Welcome dialogue and challenge to find shared truth. Welcome challenge and dialogue, you might be wrong.

This model is especially useful during misalignment, performance discussions, or project conflicts

Here’s what I noticed... here’s what I’m thinking... what’s your take?”

It lowers defensiveness, builds mutual trust, and centres shared truth not emotion.

3. Close the Loop with Shared Understanding

End every conversation with alignment:

• “What feels most clear and what still feels fuzzy?”
• “What’s one thing we are each taking away from this?”
• “Is there anything unsaid that we should surface before we wrap?”

This prevents assumption-driven gaps that spiral into delivery delays.

Weekly Action

• Identify one conversation this week that feels “tense”
• Use the STATE approach to prepare
• Start your next 1:1 with an emotional check-in

Final Thought

Remember: “Teams don’t fall apart from one bad meeting. They fade from too many unspoken ones.”

If you want a team that moves fast, build one that speaks openly and honestly.

PS. Someone in your circle might be leading a team in silence. Share this, it could be spark that reopens dialogue

Stay tuned for next week’s newsletter on ‘How to how to give feedback that doesn’t backfire’. Got a topic in mind? Hit reply and let me know what you would like to see next.

See you next week.